I'm not anxious, this is normal
Updated: Jul 16, 2019
For the longest time I was not aware that I was anxious. I thought I was calm and coping with day to day activities just fine. The way I felt - on alert, watching everyone and everything, paying attention to minor details, reacting and overreacting to situations - that's normal right?
My "anxiety" seemed to be increasing in certain situations but I still didn't identify it as anxiety. I knew that i was not satisfied with certain things in my life and I really wanted to change. I started to pay attention to my habits and subconscious patterns to see the part I was playing in not being who I wanted to be. Through the process I became aware that feeling "normal" was not a good feeling!
On this journey it has become obvious that not only was I feeling anxious all of the time, about a lot of situations, but I wasn't aware of it because this was a constant state of being. As I became more aware of my pattern, I also became aware of how I was addicted to reacting in a certain way.
Learning a new way to be and react is an every day process. Being aware, and choosing are part of this and although it can be challenging at times, I wouldn't have it any other way.